Original Drawing by Leonardo Luque**
A Performance Piece*
1. Imagine playing every shot described below from McEnroe’s famous 18-16 Wimbledon tiebreaker against Borg.
2. Speak McEnroe’s own words to umpires in bold directly to another human being.
0-0 Mac gets back quickly on a lob smashes an inside out overhead for a winner “You are pathetic” 1-2 Borg’s return at his feet, Mac hits a perfect angled cross court drop shot volley for a winner “You will never work as an umpire again” 5-6 (third match point) Mac’s second serve spins Borg out wide Borg runs around his backhand hits an inside out forehand Mac stretches way out and hits a forehand volley into the open court “Go fuck yourself” 6-7 Mac hits a well-struck backhand passing shot down the line Borg barely gets a racquet on it 7-7 after a long exchange Mac hits a brilliant running crosscourt backhand pass “Answer my question. The question, jerk” 11-12 (7th match point) Mac serves out wide Borg hits a strong return down the line but too high Mac reaches out pokes a high backhand volley into the open court “You’re a disgrace to mankind” 12-12 Mac coming in behind his serve reaches out to a high forehand volley punches it down the line instead of crosscourt wrong footing Borg for a winner “You cannot be serious” 13-13 perfect backhand low chip return at Borg’s feet produces a volley error 14-14 a sudden forehand drop volley for a winner What did I say? Please tell me” 15-15 after an all-out sprint from way off the court Mac hits a running forehand winner down the line “You completely fucked that whole thing up” 16-17 Mac hits a topspin backhand return at Borg’s feet Borg nets the volley “Get your fucking head out of your fucking ass” speak this line sotto voce so that only the person you address can hear.
* During these difficult times of enforced isolation when the COVID-19 virus has shut down the tennis tour, I invite anyone to record their own unique performance of this piece. If you wish, you can send it my way at linebarg14@gmail.com. If you want a few laughs, here is my own attempt at an abbreviated performance on You Tube where I bleeped out some of the curse words and made no real attempt to play the shots, opting for reading the script instead of imitating McEnroe: “The John McEnroe Challenge.” Important note: feel free to depart from the script above in any way you see fit that might enhance or simplify your performance. You might, as Renaissance artists emphasized, hold a mirror up to nature and imitate McEnroe as fully as possible. Or like a good jazz musician, you can use the script above as a rough outline to play your own changes on, make it your own, express how you feel. You could emphasize artistry, comedy, tragedy, cardio . . . You could even show off your foreign language skills. How do you say “You’re a disgrace to mankind” in Russian?
David’s abbreviated performance of The John McEnroe Challenge
** About the Artist:
Leonardo Luque, a retired Columbian naval officer, earned his fine arts degree in 2012 from Jorge Tadeo Lozano University in Bogota, Columbia. Currently the third-ranked Columbian player in the ITF world rankings for men’s 60 singles, Leo has drawn all his life and is especially interested in the beauty and motion of the human body. After traveling through China and Panama, he settled down with his family in 2014 in Boca Raton, Florida where he continues his portrait studies at the Art School at the Boca Raton Museum of Art.
If you wish to make any comments on “The John McEnroe Challenge,” feel free to leave them below or contact me. My other innovative short writings on tennis, along with free audio recordings to download, are available on my website.